It's too Skeery!
But not as skeery as this Doll. Or this Box. Or this trashy Pop Culture site. Actually the site is pretty damn cool. Boobies aren't skeery! If you want skeery, go read some ghost stories. Unless you think it's all a load of rubbish.
Happy Halloween!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Thursday, October 20, 2005
I Like this Painting
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Missed it by that much....
I guess Creswell didn't see that trainwreck of a Bullpen coming.
However, since I managed to pick every single game as absolutely completely wrong as I possibly could, I would like to offer up the following predictions for the rest of the Falcons' season:
10/16 Falcons at Saints: Vick is held out of the game due to his kneee injury and becomes increasingly annoyed with coach Mora. Ty Detmer has to start the game after Matt Shaub arrives to the game 45 minutes late after getting lost in the basement while touring the Alamo. Aaron Brooks throws for 497 yards, 5 touchdowns and no turnovers, prompting thousands of fantasy football players to pick him up and start him next week. Heh, suckers. Saints 42 Falcons 13
10/24 Jets at Falcons: Vick complains to the media about being held out the previous week, Mora deactivates him out of spite. Arthur Blank is happy because now he can push Vick around in a wheelchair for another week. Matt Shaub, determined not to be late for another game, shows up at the stadium at 7am on Sunday. Sadly, he forgets this is a Monday night game and ends up leaving at 3pm on Monday, furious that the rest of the team, the other team, all support staff and 65000 fans couldn't be bothered to show up. Vinnie Testeverde leads the Jets to an opening touchdown drive where he scores on a 1-yd touchdown run. Inspired, Ty Detmer tries a bootleg on the first play of the Falcons' opening possession and gets crushed by John Abraham. TJ Duckett ends up as QB for the rest of the game. After a Duckett interception in the redzone with less than two minutes to play in the game, Vick mouths off to Mora and they get into a slap fight on the sideline. Rod Coleman lost for the season when he tears an abdominal muscle from laughing too hard. Jets 23 Falcons 17
11/6 Falcons at Dolphins: Vick, still upset at Mora, visits Ricky Williams before the game. Vick is much more relaxed after the meeting and refuses to be activated for the game, insisting that Mora was right all along. Matt Shaub is able to start the game after being handcuffed to Coach Knapp when he was seen sauntering vaguely toward south beach earlier in the week. Unfortunately the keys to the cuffs could not be found and Knapp has to play center throughout the game. The Falcons' running game is shut down as Dunn keeps getting clotheslined by Knapp trying to go up the middle. The difference in the game is a 72 yard touchdown reception by Chambers caused by Jason Webster tripping over Vick, who is meditating in the lotus position on the sideline. The Dolphins' offices are found vandalized after the game with 'I will have my revenge 2010' smeared in chum on the wall. Dolphins 10 Falcons 6
more to come...
However, since I managed to pick every single game as absolutely completely wrong as I possibly could, I would like to offer up the following predictions for the rest of the Falcons' season:
10/16 Falcons at Saints: Vick is held out of the game due to his kneee injury and becomes increasingly annoyed with coach Mora. Ty Detmer has to start the game after Matt Shaub arrives to the game 45 minutes late after getting lost in the basement while touring the Alamo. Aaron Brooks throws for 497 yards, 5 touchdowns and no turnovers, prompting thousands of fantasy football players to pick him up and start him next week. Heh, suckers. Saints 42 Falcons 13
10/24 Jets at Falcons: Vick complains to the media about being held out the previous week, Mora deactivates him out of spite. Arthur Blank is happy because now he can push Vick around in a wheelchair for another week. Matt Shaub, determined not to be late for another game, shows up at the stadium at 7am on Sunday. Sadly, he forgets this is a Monday night game and ends up leaving at 3pm on Monday, furious that the rest of the team, the other team, all support staff and 65000 fans couldn't be bothered to show up. Vinnie Testeverde leads the Jets to an opening touchdown drive where he scores on a 1-yd touchdown run. Inspired, Ty Detmer tries a bootleg on the first play of the Falcons' opening possession and gets crushed by John Abraham. TJ Duckett ends up as QB for the rest of the game. After a Duckett interception in the redzone with less than two minutes to play in the game, Vick mouths off to Mora and they get into a slap fight on the sideline. Rod Coleman lost for the season when he tears an abdominal muscle from laughing too hard. Jets 23 Falcons 17
11/6 Falcons at Dolphins: Vick, still upset at Mora, visits Ricky Williams before the game. Vick is much more relaxed after the meeting and refuses to be activated for the game, insisting that Mora was right all along. Matt Shaub is able to start the game after being handcuffed to Coach Knapp when he was seen sauntering vaguely toward south beach earlier in the week. Unfortunately the keys to the cuffs could not be found and Knapp has to play center throughout the game. The Falcons' running game is shut down as Dunn keeps getting clotheslined by Knapp trying to go up the middle. The difference in the game is a 72 yard touchdown reception by Chambers caused by Jason Webster tripping over Vick, who is meditating in the lotus position on the sideline. The Dolphins' offices are found vandalized after the game with 'I will have my revenge 2010' smeared in chum on the wall. Dolphins 10 Falcons 6
more to come...
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
PLAYOFFS!!!
Pads are done, Boston got a nice swift kick in the ass and the Halos need to start scoring runs.
As for all the talking heads picking the Astros, Pettite, Oswalt and Clemens are nasty, but other than Berkman and Ensberg, what's there to be afraid of in that lineup? Yeah, I don't want to see Lidge come in with a lead, but they have to get the lead first. Granted, you can throw out the 5-1 record the Braves have over the 'Stros since we haven't played them since Mother's day. Hell, back then Jorge Sosa was a long reliever and 1/4th of the playoff roster was playing in Mississippi (or NC State(!) seriously, Bobby, Devine over Davies? what are you thinking?). But then again, who would you rather have on your roster? Raul Mondesi or Jeff Francouer? Brian McCann or Eddie Perez? Dan Kolb, or hell anybody, Farnsworth, McBride, Devine, my grandmother... Sorry, Astros fans and ESPN talking heads looking for the easy story, Houston's not beating the Braves.
I PREDICT...
Game 1: Braves 3 Astros 1 Hudson pitches 7, Houston steals a run off the bullpen.
Game 2: Astros 1 Braves 0 Clemens and Lidge steal a tight one, Smoltz pitches 6 shutout innings.
Game 3: Braves 9 Astros 4 Sosa pitches well enough to win as the bats wake up against Oswalt. Druw hits a Bomb, Frenchy hits another.
Game 4: Braves 5 Astros 3 Farnsworth shuts the door as Furcal and Giles spark a 4 run inning in the 7th to take the game and the series.
oh, PS Don Waddell...
FUCKING SIGN KOVALCHUK ALREADY FOR CHRISSAKES!!!
/go Thrash
As for all the talking heads picking the Astros, Pettite, Oswalt and Clemens are nasty, but other than Berkman and Ensberg, what's there to be afraid of in that lineup? Yeah, I don't want to see Lidge come in with a lead, but they have to get the lead first. Granted, you can throw out the 5-1 record the Braves have over the 'Stros since we haven't played them since Mother's day. Hell, back then Jorge Sosa was a long reliever and 1/4th of the playoff roster was playing in Mississippi (or NC State(!) seriously, Bobby, Devine over Davies? what are you thinking?). But then again, who would you rather have on your roster? Raul Mondesi or Jeff Francouer? Brian McCann or Eddie Perez? Dan Kolb, or hell anybody, Farnsworth, McBride, Devine, my grandmother... Sorry, Astros fans and ESPN talking heads looking for the easy story, Houston's not beating the Braves.
I PREDICT...
Game 1: Braves 3 Astros 1 Hudson pitches 7, Houston steals a run off the bullpen.
Game 2: Astros 1 Braves 0 Clemens and Lidge steal a tight one, Smoltz pitches 6 shutout innings.
Game 3: Braves 9 Astros 4 Sosa pitches well enough to win as the bats wake up against Oswalt. Druw hits a Bomb, Frenchy hits another.
Game 4: Braves 5 Astros 3 Farnsworth shuts the door as Furcal and Giles spark a 4 run inning in the 7th to take the game and the series.
oh, PS Don Waddell...
FUCKING SIGN KOVALCHUK ALREADY FOR CHRISSAKES!!!
/go Thrash
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Dany Heatley
Was traded to the Ottawa Senators for winger Marian Hossa and defenseman Greg de Vries today. Overall it was a pretty good trade for both teams. The Thrash get a legit scorer who can be counted on for 35 goals and 70 points in Hossa and de Vries is a badly needed veteran blue liner. Ottawa is getting a potential hall-of-fame candidate and playoff monster in Heatley, whose potential is absolutely huge.
Heatly wanted out of Atlanta, and I can't blame him. Number 15 was my favorite Thrasher from the moment we drafted him, when the Islanders picked that goalie first overall instead of Heater I was beside myself with joy. He was the shining star of the franchise and, hell, even the league in his first couple of years in the NHL, winning the Calder Trophy and the All-Star Game MVP. Then everything completely derailed when he was in an accident coming home from a team function with friend and teammate Dan Snyder. A few days later on October 5th, Dan died from his injuries. I remember the date well, because I lost my grandfather that day as well.
That was one of the lousiest days I've ever had, I visited him that morning at the nursing home pretty much knowing that there wasn't much time left. I left the hospital and tried to act normally, got some lunch, went to the outlets to buy some jeans and eventually went home to watch game 5 of the playoff series between the Braves and Cubs. A half hour before the game started I got the call. I knew then for a fact that the Braves would lose game 5 and the series, he was a bigger Braves fan than I was and he wouldn't have checked out early if they were going to win. I watched the game anyway and suffered through the eventual outcome. I was sad but relatively ok, and I decided to surf the web after the game, check some scores, catch up on Fark, that sort of thing. The very first headline I saw when I got online was for Dan Snyder's death which was a nice final punch in the guts for the day. My grandfather was gone, the Braves had blown it again and now my favorite player had a wrecked knee and a homicide charge looming. Needless to say October 5th is not one of my favorite days.
Thanks to Atlanta's excellent prosecutors (sarcasm tag ON)charges were finally pressed several months after the fact at the protest of pretty much all parties involved. I'm not saying that no charges should have been filed, but why do it months later when he's finally rehabilitated from his injuries and trying to play again? Instead of right after the accident? When the family of the deceased is publicly supporting him? The legal troubles paralelled the hockey troubles. The hurt knee could still be a lingering problem. The lockout wiped out almost a year of his service time since the games missed the year before were held against him for the lockout year's counted service time. While playing in Europe, he suffered another career threatening injury when an errant puck shattered the orbital bone in his left eye. The past couple of years in Atlanta have totally sucked ass for Dany and I don't blame him one bit for wanting to get out of here and just start over. On August 9th, Dany Heatley asked Thrashers GM Don Waddell to trade him. Today he was traded to the Senators.
I've lost a bunch of favorite players from my favorite teams:
Phil Niekro signed with the Yankees and I didn't cry.
Bob Horner left to play in Japan and I didn't cry.
Gerald Riggs goes to the Redskins and I didn't cry.
Dale Murphy gets traded to the Phillies and I didn't cry.
Dominique Wilkins gets traded to the Clippers (the Clippers!?!) and I didn't cry.
Jamal Anderson blows out his knee. Twice. I didn't cry.
Tom Glavine stabs us in the back. No cry. Lots of cussing though.
Hell, the entire Flames TEAM gets uncerimoniously shipped off to Calgary and I didn't cry.
Dany Heatly was traded to Ottawa today.
I'm still crying.
Heatly wanted out of Atlanta, and I can't blame him. Number 15 was my favorite Thrasher from the moment we drafted him, when the Islanders picked that goalie first overall instead of Heater I was beside myself with joy. He was the shining star of the franchise and, hell, even the league in his first couple of years in the NHL, winning the Calder Trophy and the All-Star Game MVP. Then everything completely derailed when he was in an accident coming home from a team function with friend and teammate Dan Snyder. A few days later on October 5th, Dan died from his injuries. I remember the date well, because I lost my grandfather that day as well.
That was one of the lousiest days I've ever had, I visited him that morning at the nursing home pretty much knowing that there wasn't much time left. I left the hospital and tried to act normally, got some lunch, went to the outlets to buy some jeans and eventually went home to watch game 5 of the playoff series between the Braves and Cubs. A half hour before the game started I got the call. I knew then for a fact that the Braves would lose game 5 and the series, he was a bigger Braves fan than I was and he wouldn't have checked out early if they were going to win. I watched the game anyway and suffered through the eventual outcome. I was sad but relatively ok, and I decided to surf the web after the game, check some scores, catch up on Fark, that sort of thing. The very first headline I saw when I got online was for Dan Snyder's death which was a nice final punch in the guts for the day. My grandfather was gone, the Braves had blown it again and now my favorite player had a wrecked knee and a homicide charge looming. Needless to say October 5th is not one of my favorite days.
Thanks to Atlanta's excellent prosecutors (sarcasm tag ON)charges were finally pressed several months after the fact at the protest of pretty much all parties involved. I'm not saying that no charges should have been filed, but why do it months later when he's finally rehabilitated from his injuries and trying to play again? Instead of right after the accident? When the family of the deceased is publicly supporting him? The legal troubles paralelled the hockey troubles. The hurt knee could still be a lingering problem. The lockout wiped out almost a year of his service time since the games missed the year before were held against him for the lockout year's counted service time. While playing in Europe, he suffered another career threatening injury when an errant puck shattered the orbital bone in his left eye. The past couple of years in Atlanta have totally sucked ass for Dany and I don't blame him one bit for wanting to get out of here and just start over. On August 9th, Dany Heatley asked Thrashers GM Don Waddell to trade him. Today he was traded to the Senators.
I've lost a bunch of favorite players from my favorite teams:
Phil Niekro signed with the Yankees and I didn't cry.
Bob Horner left to play in Japan and I didn't cry.
Gerald Riggs goes to the Redskins and I didn't cry.
Dale Murphy gets traded to the Phillies and I didn't cry.
Dominique Wilkins gets traded to the Clippers (the Clippers!?!) and I didn't cry.
Jamal Anderson blows out his knee. Twice. I didn't cry.
Tom Glavine stabs us in the back. No cry. Lots of cussing though.
Hell, the entire Flames TEAM gets uncerimoniously shipped off to Calgary and I didn't cry.
Dany Heatly was traded to Ottawa today.
I'm still crying.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
No Wonder the Catholic Church
is having so many problems.
The fsckin' Wachowskis are producing!
Sadly, it appears they are screwing up this as well...
The fsckin' Wachowskis are producing!
Sadly, it appears they are screwing up this as well...
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
DOS Games!!! yehaw
Assuming it hasn't been farked to oblivion, here is a link to a whole messload of DOS games.
If it is farked to oblivion, check out the Fark thread for a bunch of other links that are probably likewise wiped out by the teeming mass of farkers.
If all else fails, you can at least play some Notepad Invaders.
If it is farked to oblivion, check out the Fark thread for a bunch of other links that are probably likewise wiped out by the teeming mass of farkers.
If all else fails, you can at least play some Notepad Invaders.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Hockey Tough Love
If you weren't aware, (not many are) the NHL got their act together and finally hammered out a Collective Bargaining Agreement to finally end the lockout after last season got flushed down the toilet by greedy corporate asshats.
Since the league is back in business, they now have to figure out how to lure back all the fans that they drove off last year squabbling over money. Now that the corporate sponsors have bailed and the TV contract has vanished so ESPN can air more important things, the fans are pretty much the only revenue source left. So in the interests of cost certainty, the league is certain to pull out all the stops to try to get the fans back. The last league to fark up this badly managed to get the fans back with some longballs and juiced up scoring. Since juicing up the players is not really an option anymore, the NHL is instituting some new rules to try to up the scoring, including: eliminating the red line to increase the number of home-run breakaway passes, shrinking the increasingly ridiculous goalie equipment, reinstating the tag up rule for offsides, discouraging icing and finally enforcing the interference rules (I'll believe it when I see it) to open up the ice for the skilled skaters. Add to this the draft lottery that gave the Penguins Mario Jr. or Gretkzy II (or Baby Lindros if Pittsburgh's recent luck holds), today's entry draft and the upcoming free-for-all free agent period this offseason and you have some interesting things to look forward to.
Still, the powers that be are interested to gauge just how much money they stand to lose from last winter's foolishness and have contracted a survey to find out the gory details. I took the survey, and thought my faithful readers might be interested in a couple of my answers.
Why do you say that your overall interest level in the NHL has decreased significantly since the beginning of the NHL work stoppage?
Why has the work stoppage negatively affected your interest level in purchasing NHL merchandise items in the future?
Since the league is back in business, they now have to figure out how to lure back all the fans that they drove off last year squabbling over money. Now that the corporate sponsors have bailed and the TV contract has vanished so ESPN can air more important things, the fans are pretty much the only revenue source left. So in the interests of cost certainty, the league is certain to pull out all the stops to try to get the fans back. The last league to fark up this badly managed to get the fans back with some longballs and juiced up scoring. Since juicing up the players is not really an option anymore, the NHL is instituting some new rules to try to up the scoring, including: eliminating the red line to increase the number of home-run breakaway passes, shrinking the increasingly ridiculous goalie equipment, reinstating the tag up rule for offsides, discouraging icing and finally enforcing the interference rules (I'll believe it when I see it) to open up the ice for the skilled skaters. Add to this the draft lottery that gave the Penguins Mario Jr. or Gretkzy II (or Baby Lindros if Pittsburgh's recent luck holds), today's entry draft and the upcoming free-for-all free agent period this offseason and you have some interesting things to look forward to.
Still, the powers that be are interested to gauge just how much money they stand to lose from last winter's foolishness and have contracted a survey to find out the gory details. I took the survey, and thought my faithful readers might be interested in a couple of my answers.
Why do you say that your overall interest level in the NHL has decreased significantly since the beginning of the NHL work stoppage?
My interest has decreased in the NHL because there was absolutely no reason for the season to be cancelled. The Owners and Union had actually agreed on a cap (supposedly the big sticking point) before the drop-dead date, and all the two sides had to do was split the difference at the end, and voila, we have a season (and more importantly, Stanley Cup Playoffs). Instead, Goodenow and Bettman refused to back down even when they were only a couple of million apart on the salary cap. News flash: the only difference between the owner's max cap and the player's max cap offer the day the season was cancelled for no reason was a couple of extra million dollars that maybe 4 or 5 teams would be able to spend in the larger markets (Detroit, New York, etc.). Instead, so Bettman can have his f---ing 'cost certainty' he tanked the season and made for damn certain that the NHL will not be relevant for decades. Hey Bettman, here's another 'cost certainty' for you, you SOB: the NHL will certainly NOT get one solitary penny out of me until you either a)resign b)are fired c)are devoured by a rampaging herd of wildebeest d)are abducted by aliens for anal probing (maybe they'll find your brain) e) the earth cracks open under your feet and you fall down into the pits of hell where the Devil himself will force you to watch college basketball, Texas hold-em poker and any show involving Stewart Scott or Chris Berman mugging for the camera on ESPN forever.
Why has the work stoppage negatively affected your interest level in purchasing NHL merchandise items in the future?
Why should I support a league that doesn't give a damn about their fans? All the league had to do is get their act together long enough to save the Stanley Cup Playoffs last year. But no, the owners and players couldn't get together enough to hammer out a cap number even when the players finally capitulated and agreed to a salary cap. The league chose money over fans, so why would you be surprised that the fans are now choosing money over the league? Again, fire the fools that caused this crisis in the first place (one down, one to go) and I might decide to pick up that hideous new Thrashers alternate jersey.There was more, but why incriminate myself further. Feel free to take the survey yourself and add your own comments...
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