Sin City Kicks Your Ass

Now that we are over the rash of deaths in the news, I figured it was high time I talked about this cinematic rash of deaths.

This movie is fucking BRUTAL. I mean that in a good way. I mean that in a Pulp Fiction calls up The Killer and they decide to go meet their droog Clockwork Orange at the milk bar so they could all get ripped to the bejeezus belt and go out and kick the shit out of Beaches kind of way. I mean that in a remake of Double Indemnity starring Rorschach in Fred MacMurray's role where he goes nuts and snatches off Phyllis' ankle bracelet, leg and all, and beats her husband to death with the bloody stump kind of way. I mean that in a bizzaro Maltese Falcon where Sam Spade is all hopped up on crystal meth and Balco roids, Effie and Eva are lesbian Dominatrixes with more firepower than North and South Korea combined, and the three go out and pump 500 rounds unto Wilbur before shoving a grenade down his throat, slice off Joel Cairo's arms and legs and feed him to a rabid wolverine when he eats Effie's liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti, Sam rips out the Fat Man's entire digestive system with his bare hands before pounding his face into a puddle of goo before finally shoving the Black Bird so far up Brigid's ass it pecks her brain when she sneezes kind of way. This movie is just DAMN.

Mickey Roarke as Marv is just bad-ass. They could make a whole movie series about Kevin and I'd be happy. Clive Owen is surprisingly effective as a noble thug surrounded by women with the worst case of PMS ever. Concidering how goofy Benicio Del Toro's role is, he pulls it off brilliantly. ALL the female characters are just scary hot. And it's a proven fact that any movie where Bruce Willis gets the complete shit kicked out of him is just an awesome movie. Oh yeah, Marv is just bad-ass.

Of course I like this kind of thing. It's very stylized cartoony violence, and the reviewers aren't kidding when they say it looks like the pages of the comic book just started moving up on a screen. This shit is dead on, see for yourself. The CG is not at all distracting (hello Sky Captain...) mainly because it's so freaking stylized. It's not supposed to look like real life, stupid, it's trying to express a mood, a tone. The German Expressionists are looking at this film from the afterlife and are desperately trying to book a reincarnation. Rodriguez and Miller really knocked this out of the park, and even though I doubt it will end up a smash hit and pull in 100 million, it's going to have serious legs and will make a mint off the DVD especially if they go the director's unrated cut route. Mainstream? Hell naw. This film is not mainstream.

This movie is not for everyone.

But if this movie is for you... oh yeah. This movie is for you.