Thursday, January 27, 2005

Thank God for Arthur Blank

The Arizona Cardinals had a press conference today, announcing that after having the same weak ass logo for the past 35 years, they were going to update it to a revolutionary new logo that would symbolize the new fierceness and energy of their (awful) franchise. This is what they came up with:

See? The old 'Mildly perturbed, yet stoic' Cardinal has been reinvented as Angry Cardinal! That's a birdish scowl if'n I ever saw one. I'm not sure why an NFL franchise would want an image that resembles Woody Woodpecker catching his girlfriend in bed with Heckle and Jeckle to represent their team, but hey, it's the Cardinals. Seriously though, why a press conference for that? That's not an earth shattering change, that's a minor tweak. Of course it does look a little better than Todd McFarlane's stab at it, although the 'Dear God, not this shit again' look actually does symbolize that franchise quite nicely.

It really would have been more interesting to just sneak the logo out there next year and see how many games it takes for anyone to catch on. "Hey! Someone pissed off the birdy!" Of course that won't sell more t-shirts.

At least Cardinals eat Eagles. Falcons too.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

More Drek

Yesterday's 'throw a bunch of shit against the wall and call it art' post went over so well, I'm doing it again. In short, here's the contents of my browser tabs in easy to digest blog format:

The Onion on the upcoming wardrobe malfunction anniversary - it's funny 'cause it's true.

Matt Groening did a Mac ad - no Homer to be seen, however...

Rorschach inkblot tests! Hmmmm.... two men being thrown off bucking giraffes into a giant flaming representation of PIL's 'That What Is Not' cover. Hrm.

Charles Fort, inspiration for the Fortean Times, is a must read for all the Art Bell buffs out there. I wonder if he was into ghosts as well.

Milky Wimpshake - I have no idea what the fuck this is, but it's got MP3's.

Arcade Ambience - because we miss the 80's, dammit. Official Soundtrack to Lucky Wander Boy. <--if anyone wants to read this, put a request in the comments and I'll let you borrow it.

Finally, A bunch of stuff from Metafilter that I don't have time to look at now.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


I've been sick as a dog all month and I just haven't had any desire recently to spew bile all over this blog since I'm doing a great job of spewing bile all over my walls instead. ( and the carpet and the ceiling fan and the cat and the mailman etc.)

Just so I update this crap with something, here's a bunch of links I found recently that interest me but I haven't really had the time to look at yet.

House of Stairs - semi-surrealist/absurdist/dada/whatever web comic. Flaming carrot it is not, but it's quite entertaining when overdosed on cough syrup.

ZZT - three beautiful words. Rogue like game. Me likey Rogue like games. Here's some more games, roguelike or otherwise.

Harrison Bergeron - just read it. it won't take long, unless you have one of those mental handicap radios in your ear... bzzzzt

The 50 Most Loathsome people in America, 2004 edition. How Gary Bettman missed this list, I'll never know.

There's a virulent meme running about the net in the form of a video that shows a cheerleader being thrown up through a basketball goal and back down again. I won't link to the video, mainly because every other site on the web has already done so, but I will happily link to the official Cheerleader Toss Flash Game.

Bud Plant Illustrated books - no, not that bud plant....

The Beastles - Beastie Boys get mashed up with the Beatles. To be honest, dj BC's mashup of Beasties and Kraftwerk is better.

Tech Support - Welcome to my world!!!!11

The Revenge of the Sith Topps Trading Card Checklist - so much for avoiding spoilers.

Beautiful, beautiful Camper Van...

And finally, the Best Movie Review Evar. Sadly it is applicable to about 80% of all films nowadays.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Optimism is on the March

A majority of Americans feel hopeful about Bush's second term, especially now that we are seeing the kinder, gentler W.

What what whaaaaaaat??? We might be attacking Iran now? Well it could be worse, just ask a war nerd. Better yet, find something truly important to fret over.

(by the way, Titan is made out of creme brulee. Yum!)

Friday, January 14, 2005

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Woohoo! A wreck!

And I'm not talking about Iraq, I'm talking about an ice sheet the size of Manhattan about to ram into a glacier in Antarctica.

Oh noes!!!1 Who can save us?

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

More Hitchhiker Schtuff

Ain't It Cool is holding a contest that will award a set of Vogon Office Supplies (serial number 42 of course) for the lucky/sick reader that submits the best/most soul-crushingly horrific example of Vogon Poetry.

Now, now... No Cheating...

Monday, January 10, 2005

Happy Dayf in nerdvana

There's a bunch of films I want to see this year, Sin City, A Scanner Darkly, King Kong... Not to mention the obvious ones...

But these are all afterthoughts to the movie I really REALLY REALLY want to see now, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

When I heard that they were (finally) doing a film version of Hitchhikers I didn't think much of it, because I felt confident that Hollywood would do a wonderful job of fucking it up.

Well since then I've heard the news, seen the design and looked over the cast and hey, it looked like I could actually be pretty good. Then I found out who would be the Voice for Marvin the Paranoid Android.

Best. Movie. Of. 2005.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

The angriest dayf in the world

Good lord, I'm pissed off today. I mean serious fucking grade-A pissed. Angry, even. No particular reason, just... aargh.

Here's some useless shit to distract you from the fog of opressive ennui darkening every corner of existance. Oh crap. I sound like some whiny emo pussy now. That makes me really angry. grrr.

Forget about that whole 'faith in humanity' thing

The old idjit hasn't even been inaugurated yet and we already got rival imbicles jockeying for his job.

Maybe he can get the author of this legislative abortion for a running mate since this guy's got too much on his plate right now.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

My faith in Humanity is temporarily restored.

Even the most cynical gripe ass has to admit that there was a rare convergence of heartwarming new stories today, including...

Ashlee Simpson getting her no-talent ass booed at the Orange Bowl last night.

Jon Stewart 1: Tucker Carlson 0.

John Linder gets the shaft. (ya damn right)

Red States get the Wrath O' God (tm) this week.

And finally, Palestinians tell Richard Gere to go pound sand with one of the most beautiful quotes of the year:

"We don't need the Americans' intervention. We know who to elect. Not like them -- they elected a moron."
Nothing can get me down now! oh fark not again....


Never mind that, just go look at some kitties.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Sad Day for Comic Lovers...

We lost The great Will Eisner and Frank Kelly Freas in the past couple of days. Freas was well known for his sci-fi art and some awesome classic Mad magazine work, while Eisner has a frickin' Award named after him. Oh yeah, Eisner is also pretty much the father of the graphic novel.

RIP, fellas. Let's hope we avoid the trifecta.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Laura is a Headbanger

Ooo-whee, do it one more time for me!

No, really, it's a faith based initiative!

Saturday, January 01, 2005


Finally, something in Iraq goes right for a change.

Oh noes!!1 More Xmas music!!! <--(site mildly nsfw)

happy fucking new fucking year fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck

Let's all down a bottle of cut-rate gin/sterno to the sincere hope that 2005 sucks even the tiniest bit less than goddamn 2004.

(glug glug glug)

Aaaah, don' give me that look, even Dave Barry agrees that last year was a total fucking disaster and he's a wacky syndicated columnist that usually writes lame ass articles about toilets.

(glug glug glug)

sho, less all slatute, saloot, sel- toasht the new year by flushing the giant steaming log of 2004 right down...



(flush flush flush)




(glug glug glug)