Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Hillary just can't catch a break
I'm so fucking sick of campaign season I could shit and all the useless crap being flung around is the main reason. Hillary's desperation is at the top of my annoyance chart at the moment. Run a good, clean campaign or STFU. No more histrionics. If she didn't already completely jump the shark by having the testicles to compare Barack Obama to Karl Rove, this might have done it. Supposedly leaked to Drudge by a Clinton staffer is a picture of Barack in traditional Kenyan tribal garb. I thought the whole thing sounded kind of silly since Obama's dad is from Kenya in the first place. There's a critical primary in a week, so of course both campaigns are sniping over it, with Hillary simultaneously claiming she didn't do it and criticizing the Obama camp for being ashamed of it and that it's not a big deal anyway just because a guy whose middle name is HUSSEIN is wearing a TURBAN. Obama certainly couldn't look as goofy as Kerry did in the space suit or trying to catch a football or, well, just being John Kerry so really what the hell is he worried about. Ugh, I'm just ready for the silliness to be over with. Let's get someone nominated already so the real dirty tricks can commence! Even so, curiosity got the better of me and I went to Drudge to check out the photo. Here it is:
This is the first thing that came to my mind:
Good job Hillary, the drunk fratboy demographic just shifted en masse to Obama's camp.
It's not gonna be an orgy... it's a presidential campaign!
This is the first thing that came to my mind:
TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!!!
Good job Hillary, the drunk fratboy demographic just shifted en masse to Obama's camp.
It's not gonna be an orgy... it's a presidential campaign!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Forty Dollars For A Goddamn T-Shirt?
Crappy t-shirts made famous by rock stars. How do you afford your Rock & Roll lifestyle? Ok, I can see it for this t-shirt. Lennon & Crumb synergy is worth 40 clams. What pisses me off is they have a whole mess o' Zappa tees and not one Pipco.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Politics is the Best Reality TV
So far, the networks in their infinite pursuit of viewership have failed to get me to watch Reality TV. I don't care about Big Brother. I think Survivor would be a lot more interesting if they dumped everyone in the jungle with a Leatherman, a roll of Duct Tape, and a cigarette lighter, and said "You eat what you kill, We won't be coming back to get you. And, by the way, between you and freedom is a tribe of xenophobic hunters that are deadly with a blowgun." That I'd watch, just for the Arnold Rimmer's of the show find a way to sell poison darts to the tribesmen.
That being said, this election has me completely enthralled. I find myself rooting for the underdogs (Obama and McCain, until Super Tuesday) booing the villains -take your pick between Hillary, Romney, Giuliani, and really, just about everyone who doesn't qualify as a nutjob, which leaves us with Ron Paul, the Eddie the Eagle of American Politics. I really can't get enough of it.
Which brings me to my point, which for reasons of something passing for literary standards I refuse to call "A Modest Proposal." The 2012 campaign should be run as a reality TV show. We'd start out sometime in 2011 with the "Man in the Street" section, where a bunch of yokels whose previous experience involves describing how the tornado sounded just like a freight train describe how they would solve world problems. Think Miss Teen South Carolina without the ballgowns or, in fact, the intelligence. We'd then, from that group of hopefuls, pick a handful to go on and meet the candidates who are entering the race the normal way (graft, corruption, blind idealism, and downright hubris). Instead of doing something constructive, they would do something silly like try to sell lemonade in the middle of a Minnesota winter or some other such silly task designed to make the "real" candidates look stupid and the anonymous everymen look brilliant.
Eventually that would run it's course, and we'd have to get down to real voting. I think the logical solution is to have a call-in number on the last debate before the start of the primary season. You would have to call 1-900- something or another to keep your candidate alive for the primaries, which would start with New Hampshire and Iowa, and then be 6 states a week for the next two months. In the end, the Republican and Democratic Parties would install the nominee they were already going to nominate anyway. Do not pass go, Do not get any sense of participation in the electoral process.
That being said, this election has me completely enthralled. I find myself rooting for the underdogs (Obama and McCain, until Super Tuesday) booing the villains -take your pick between Hillary, Romney, Giuliani, and really, just about everyone who doesn't qualify as a nutjob, which leaves us with Ron Paul, the Eddie the Eagle of American Politics. I really can't get enough of it.
Which brings me to my point, which for reasons of something passing for literary standards I refuse to call "A Modest Proposal." The 2012 campaign should be run as a reality TV show. We'd start out sometime in 2011 with the "Man in the Street" section, where a bunch of yokels whose previous experience involves describing how the tornado sounded just like a freight train describe how they would solve world problems. Think Miss Teen South Carolina without the ballgowns or, in fact, the intelligence. We'd then, from that group of hopefuls, pick a handful to go on and meet the candidates who are entering the race the normal way (graft, corruption, blind idealism, and downright hubris). Instead of doing something constructive, they would do something silly like try to sell lemonade in the middle of a Minnesota winter or some other such silly task designed to make the "real" candidates look stupid and the anonymous everymen look brilliant.
Eventually that would run it's course, and we'd have to get down to real voting. I think the logical solution is to have a call-in number on the last debate before the start of the primary season. You would have to call 1-900- something or another to keep your candidate alive for the primaries, which would start with New Hampshire and Iowa, and then be 6 states a week for the next two months. In the end, the Republican and Democratic Parties would install the nominee they were already going to nominate anyway. Do not pass go, Do not get any sense of participation in the electoral process.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
The Bastard Fairies - We're All Going To Hell
I found this video in a thread about the classic School Scare film, One Got Fat. The song is amazing and the horrific deaths of Biking Monkey-Children only add to the genius.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Name your poison
The polls open here in Georgia in 7 hours. In less than 24, we will have a much clearer idea who will be running for President come Fall. I wish I could say I am thrilled about it, but the current crop of candidates leaves a lot to be desired:
Mitt Romney:Scares the crap out of me. Has The John Kerry hair, and reminds me of the guy who sold me my last car. The guy is almost as slippery as his Grecian-formula slicked-up hair. Interesting point, though. He was one of the few republican candidates to have been married only once.
John McCain: He may still get my vote, but I have a feeling he's the GOP's Howard Dean. He gets a ringing endorsement from Ann Coulter. Anyone who makes her that mad has got to be doing something right. I just hope he doesn't have flashbacks to 'Nam and nuke the hell out of anybody. It would be a decisive foreign policy, however. My bet is Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack in December if McCain wins.
Barack Obama: Everybody knows that he's been campaigning since the Democratic convention in 2004. Admittedly, following in the footsteps of Kerry isn't exactly a hard act to follow. It's a lot like being the largest city in Delaware. Or the smartest man in the Oval Office.
Hillary Clinton: I'm not sure I can face another 4-8 years of the Clintons. I could handle it as a reality show, but not as the Commander and Chief and her Boy Pander. After Florida, she seems like a Machiavellian, scheming witch who would do anything to get the House. And somehow. "Clinton" and "Restoring dignity to the White House" are just two words I can't get in the same sentence. Having Hillary in the White House would be worth it for two reasons:
1)First Hubby Bill Clinton
2)Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulter going insane.
so there you have it, folks. The current crop of candidates. With any luck, we'll end up with McCain v. Obama. I just got to hope I'm wrong on that whole flashback thing.
Mitt Romney:Scares the crap out of me. Has The John Kerry hair, and reminds me of the guy who sold me my last car. The guy is almost as slippery as his Grecian-formula slicked-up hair. Interesting point, though. He was one of the few republican candidates to have been married only once.
John McCain: He may still get my vote, but I have a feeling he's the GOP's Howard Dean. He gets a ringing endorsement from Ann Coulter. Anyone who makes her that mad has got to be doing something right. I just hope he doesn't have flashbacks to 'Nam and nuke the hell out of anybody. It would be a decisive foreign policy, however. My bet is Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack in December if McCain wins.
Barack Obama: Everybody knows that he's been campaigning since the Democratic convention in 2004. Admittedly, following in the footsteps of Kerry isn't exactly a hard act to follow. It's a lot like being the largest city in Delaware. Or the smartest man in the Oval Office.
Hillary Clinton: I'm not sure I can face another 4-8 years of the Clintons. I could handle it as a reality show, but not as the Commander and Chief and her Boy Pander. After Florida, she seems like a Machiavellian, scheming witch who would do anything to get the House. And somehow. "Clinton" and "Restoring dignity to the White House" are just two words I can't get in the same sentence. Having Hillary in the White House would be worth it for two reasons:
1)First Hubby Bill Clinton
2)Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulter going insane.
so there you have it, folks. The current crop of candidates. With any luck, we'll end up with McCain v. Obama. I just got to hope I'm wrong on that whole flashback thing.
This is why the internet was invented
To show the similarities between South Park's Cripple Fight and the fight from They Live.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Kraftwerk - Die Roboter
Why downloading is evil: somewhere a while back I found an mp3 of this some mashed up with Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". Whitney Houston should never ever sound good.
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