Monday, February 04, 2008

Name your poison

The polls open here in Georgia in 7 hours. In less than 24, we will have a much clearer idea who will be running for President come Fall. I wish I could say I am thrilled about it, but the current crop of candidates leaves a lot to be desired:

Mitt Romney:Scares the crap out of me. Has The John Kerry hair, and reminds me of the guy who sold me my last car. The guy is almost as slippery as his Grecian-formula slicked-up hair. Interesting point, though. He was one of the few republican candidates to have been married only once.

John McCain: He may still get my vote, but I have a feeling he's the GOP's Howard Dean. He gets a ringing endorsement from Ann Coulter. Anyone who makes her that mad has got to be doing something right. I just hope he doesn't have flashbacks to 'Nam and nuke the hell out of anybody. It would be a decisive foreign policy, however. My bet is Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack in December if McCain wins.

Barack Obama: Everybody knows that he's been campaigning since the Democratic convention in 2004. Admittedly, following in the footsteps of Kerry isn't exactly a hard act to follow. It's a lot like being the largest city in Delaware. Or the smartest man in the Oval Office.

Hillary Clinton: I'm not sure I can face another 4-8 years of the Clintons. I could handle it as a reality show, but not as the Commander and Chief and her Boy Pander. After Florida, she seems like a Machiavellian, scheming witch who would do anything to get the House. And somehow. "Clinton" and "Restoring dignity to the White House" are just two words I can't get in the same sentence. Having Hillary in the White House would be worth it for two reasons:
1)First Hubby Bill Clinton
2)Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulter going insane.

so there you have it, folks. The current crop of candidates. With any luck, we'll end up with McCain v. Obama. I just got to hope I'm wrong on that whole flashback thing.

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