Thursday, June 16, 2005

Jon in Tucker...


Not for calling in on the Stu and Mark Atlanta Braves Postgame show and going "Dude, am I the tenth caller?!? YEEAAA-" *dump*, but for doing it right after some old bastard called in for the 283rd time this year sucking up to Lemmer by suggesting that he should come back and play for the Braves. Because Lord knows, we need another infielder since Giles is the only hitter on the team that hasn't sucked or got hurt but the team was better back in those days before all the newfangled players with their big contracts and talent came in and back in the good ol' days we went 61-101 and we liked it dagnabbit because they were real hardnosed players and I used to watch them on TBS back when they had Andy Griffith on not this darnfangled yankee Sex up the City crap with these librul hoochies wiggling around being heathens we had I say we had good ol' Lemmer and good ol' Aunt Bee and she'd get her ass in the kitchen and bake me a PIE while Zane Smith was on the mound and damn I wish it was still the good ol' days when we were in last place and when I bought furniture I'd ask for the Wolfman and the dementia hadn't kicked in and I hadn't been stuck in this home by my ungrateful children and I'm real glad to hear you on the air Lemmer, you were always my favorite player and you should go out there one more time and win one fer the GIPPER yesiree Bob I'll hang up and listen.

You, sir, are brilliant and you have put a very large smile on this otherwise sour and jaded face of mine.

/golf claps for Jon
//even if it's not the Jon in Tucker I think it is
///has to be, I recognize that howl anywhere
////still likes Lemmer though
/////even though suckup postgame show callers are going to drive me spare

1 comment:

Josh said...

Nice rant. Reminiscent of the Flippy the Rabid Wonder Puppy rant. I've still got that. Holding it as evidence if you ever win a Pulitzer or aspire to elected office