Loathsome People

of 2005. Fifty of 'em in fact. not to be confused with this.

It's not that bad actually, I think we actually dropped a spot from last year.

Read Some Asimov

Like, now. At least read the comments you lazy bastard.

Dark Dungeons

Because any site that incorporates a MIDI of "Torgo's Theme" deserves a posting.

You Go Back, Jack, Do it again...

Since Palmer had a walrus flounce on his knee last week and the Bengals got bounced, here's some updated picks for this round of playoffs:

Divisional Games:

Redskins 13 Seahawks 30 (Seahawks -9.5)

Patriots 23 Broncos 20 (Pats +3)

Panthers 6 Bears 18 (Bears -3)

Steelers 7 Colts 33 (Indy -10)

/3-1 last week, w00tage!

What the hell is going on here?

Is this a Supreme Court nominee hearing or a 30's melodrama? Squabbling senators I can handle but ladies rushing from the chambers in tears is getting a tad ridiculous. At least she didn't swoon into Alito's arms or trip and twist her ankle while the skeery monster chased her out of the hearing. American culture values style over substance so I guess nominee's wives boo-hooing on cue to get the sympathy vote is par for the course.

I thankfully haven't watched any of this mess on TV, but there's plenty of blogs of every flavor tracking proceedings and detailing all the senators' rambling speeches and nominee's non-answers. Libtard moonbat demoncrat commie baby killer hippie Osama blowers can go here. Nazi neocon floor humping treasonous rights stealing inbred koolaid drinkers can go here. I'm not sure who should go here. It seems on first glance to be fairly even handed, but it's sponsored by a law firm so it's probably evil. Of course you could skip all this newfangled blogging and simply go straight to the horse's mouth.

Pearls Before Swine

In less than an hour, the Baseball Hall of Fame Class of 2006 (assuming there is one) will be announced. One thing is known for sure: the voters farked it up again. At least we'll get some worthy players inducted in February.

For anyone who cares, if a spare pearl were cast before this hog, I would fill out my ballot this way:

Bert Blyleven
Dave Concepcion
Andre Dawson
Goose Gossage
Tommy John
Jack Morris
Dale Murphy
Jim Rice
Bruce Sutter
Alan Trammell

(I'd cram Kaat, Santo and Maris on there as well if I could get away with it)

Looks like I'm screwed

It is now illegal to annoy someone over the internet.

"Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

Oh wait, no one reads this piece of shit blog! Resume annoyances...



Party of small government my arse!

If anyone's interested...

according to the AJC, were I to lose my mind and actually bet any of this stuff I would be taking Washington +1.5, New England -7.5, Carolina +2.5 and Cincinnati +3.

You're too late on the Tampa game, but there's still time to rush out and bet the exact opposite of my picks and make a bundle.

Playoffs?!?

Since it's a cheap and easy post and I need a constant reminder of why I should never gamble, here are my picks for the NFL playoffs:

Wild Card Games:

Redskins 23 Buccaneers 21

Jaguars 13 Patriots 27

Panthers 24 Giants 20

Steelers 27 Bengals 33

Divisional Games:

Redskins 13 Seahawks 30

Bengals 27 Broncos 17

Panthers 6 Bears 18

Patriots 20 Colts 23

Conference Championships:

Bears 14 Seahawks 13

Bengals 20 Colts 33

Super Bowl XL:

Bears 9 Colts 27

The sound you hear is millions of Chicago and Indy fans cursing my very name for jinxing their teams.

Falcons goin' all the way in '06 baby!!1

I feel so dirty...

I used a cliche today on Fark. I just couldn't help myself. I think it was CheekyMunky's post that pushed me over the edge.

Most dead men, however, don't laugh maniacally. Unless submitter is implying he's laughing in his grave. But then, I don't think he's buried in his backyard either. Also, I don't get the reference, so there could be something in there that's vital to the joke.

Basically, I don't have a f*cking clue what to make of the headline.

I shouldn't have done it, I know I shouldn't have done it, hell I even hotlinked the pic of ol' Rick, I should definitely not have done it. All bad. You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes by yourself, and you feel shame, you know.

I feel shame.

Not Future

The past actually, 28 years ago today the Sex Pistols played their first US tour date at the Great Southeast Music Hall in Atlanta. Which I think got turned into a KMart. Which was probably demolished when they went bankrupt. And I was maybe like 4 at the time anyway so it's not like I was there or anything. There's a bootleg out there of it though, so that's pretty cool. It's called 'Kill The Hippies'. No, I don't have it. I guess I could check eBay though. I could have sworn I was going somewhere with this post... That'll teach me to quit doing this at 2AM after a few Mike's. Anyway, go out and listen to God Save The Queen in rememberance. You'll thank me later.

Didn't see this one coming

Bob Weiss got the boot in Seattle.
I was all ready to make fun of Bob Weiss in this post, but then I remembered that he's probably the best coach the Hawks had since Fratello. Lon Krueger? Terry Stotts? guuuuh.
And yes, I'm including Lenny in the group of coaches Bob is better than. You don't inflict the Dominique Wilkins curse on the franchise and get remembered fondly. ("We traded Nique? While we're in first place and have good chemistry? Well who the hell did we get? We got MANNING?!?! We traded Nique for Danny Frickin Manning??? We sent the Franchise to the goddamn Clippers??? Oh, we got a draft pick too? Well, ok. That's a little bet- WHAT?!?!?!!! Nique AND a FIRST ROUNDER for DANNY FRICKIN MANNING?!?!?!!!111ONEHUNDREDELEVENTYONE" /head asplode)
At least Bob, unlike the Hawks, has managed to land on his feet with a new career.
And I also found a new phrase to yell at Pete Babcock.
/amazing what you'll find on Google...

Good Lord

How many posts to I need to make before I get that awful inbred purple heart woman off the page??? That'll teach me to play with image hosting and then not post for 2 months.

While I think of some crap to post to bump her into oblivion, play some Web Sudoku.

My Kingdom for some Run Defense

First the Falcons get blown out 44-11, now the Dawgs can't stop West Virginia to save their lives. There must be something in that Georgia Dome turf.....

Update: They lost the Sugar Bowl on a fake friggin punt?? Ug. How long till spring training?

You Near's Revelation

Um, New Year's Resolution for Two-Aught-Aught-Six.

I Dayf, being of unsound mind and dead sexy body, do hereby resolve the following in 2006:

1) I will post at least one a day to this shitty blog, whether I need to or not, even if I have to monkey with the time stamp like I'm doing for this post because I was too drunk on the 1st to post anything coherent, and yeah, I know this isn't coherent, but you should have seen my sorry ass on the first, and at least one of the posts this year will be worth a crap, unlike this one. And the next post doesn't count, I was gonna post it on the second but missed. Close enough for government work, anyway.

2) I will not be mean to any Gamecocks fans, as I promised the USC Drum Corps guy on the Fark thread about the phrase "hunker down" being banned by a bunch of Michigan douchebags.

3) When I'm obsessively flipping through every single preset station on my radio over and over, I resolve to always stop when a Stevie Wonder song comes on, because there ain't gonna be anything better on the radio anyway.

3a) Yeah, I know I risk having to listen to Jungle Fever or some of his later insipid crap, but how often is that stuff on the radio anyway? And even so, it's still better than anything on Star 94. I mean, what the hell is the purpose of editing out the rap parts of the Gorrilaz' Feelgood Inc? Or Green Day's Holiday? Seriously, WTF??

4) This is an election year. During a lame duck term. With scandals flying like poo in a monkey house. With 96% of the electorate completely pissed off about something. Nevertheless, asshats are still going to end up winning the election. Just like they have won every election since 1792. BC. I will accept this and not flip out like I did last time if the wrong asshats end up winning.

5)I will not care about Fitzmas, Abramoffikka, Valenrove's Day, St. Patdown DeLay, Martin Luther King Bitchslaps Ralph Reed From the Grave For Giving Christianity a Bad Name Day, Cinco de Drag Scooter Libby to the Motherfucking Chair Fry his Ass Garnish with Lettuce and Hold the Mayo, or any other holidays fapped about on the blogs linked below until one of the scoundrels, ANY scoundrel, from ANY scoundrelous affiliation, actually ends up with a jail sentence and is in the jail sitting on the jail cot and is discussing Oscar Wilde with their new cellmate Rufus.

6)I am going to thoroughly enjoy the Braves this year whether they have a winning record or not, whether they win the division or not, whether they get bounced in the 1st round or not, whether they lose game 7 of the World Series to the Damn Yankees 1-0 in the 23rd inning on a dropped third strike, two stolen bases and a balk or not, because no matter how much the haters want to complain about the lone Championship in the middle of 14 straight division championships, no one can tell me that 90% of baseball fans wouldn't give their nipples to have their team have that much success. And we still got Bobby Cox bitches, so suck it.

7) I will see V for Vendetta. Several times. Bald Padme blowin' shit up with Agent Smith. HELL yeah.

8) I will finally send Javacrucian that CD I promised last Spring. I still love listening to Eclectica.

9) I will not stay up till 3AM posting incomprehensible rants on my blog that I will end up disavowing the next morning after I read them.

10) I will not add useless items to a list just so I can pad it out to a round number.

11) I will not screw up the time stamp and have to edit this post (twice!) to fix it.