Quruli - Bara no Hana

This is one of the songs on the promo for Nippon Music Champ on Album 88. I heard that promo on the radio one time while driving away from a difficult situation and the song has burrowed into my psyche now. I really like international music since I don't understand all the backstory that goes along with it. I can just sit back and enjoy the music without having the banal lyrics or the artists' latest TMZ scandal ruin it for me. Maybe that shit is only a problem in American pop music anyway.

Obsessive Blake's 7 Post

Back in the '80s the local PBS station showed British Sci-fi on Saturday nights. I used to watch a ton of Dr. Who but occasionally they'd show a second show like Tripods or Blake's 7. I freaking loved Blake's 7, I even started taping the episodes after a while. It went off the air though and I've never been able to find it since save for one lonely episode on VHS at Media Play for thirty=five bucks. Thanks to the magic of YouTube however, I can now see snippets of my long lost favorite show mashed up with something from one of my other favorite shows...



Of course there's also some '80s Blake/Calvin Harris goodness:



Ok, real '80s music with the Pet Shop Boys and Avon being naughty.



This is also highly amusing:



But of course, someone always has to take things too far.



I can find Region 2 DVD sets of this stuff pretty easily, but nothing I can play on my own DVD player. I guess the BBC just wants me to get it for free online instead of having me give them my money...

RIP Eartha Kitt

Bettie Page and Eartha Kitt in the Same Month.

Unfair.



Godspeed, Catwoman.

Goodbye, Productivity

95 Old School Games You Can Play Online.

I've already got my all-time high score on Donkey Kong Jr. Only 94 more games to go....

RIP Bettie Page

Forget the striptease, forget the bondage stuff, just look at that smile.



Everyone cool is leaving us this year.

Damn, I miss this cartoon

Ren & Stimpy's top 5 moments:



I mostly agree with this although I'd bounce #1 and #2 and replace them with History Eraser Button and the bit that makes me laugh harder than anything else in that series: Wilbur Cobb.

Double Shot of Portishead

'cause I need a double shot right now.

Old Portishead



New Portishead

No Thanks

I've watched at least part of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade every single year since I was a little kid. The one time I miss the damn thing, this happens:



No words can express my deep level of disappointment.

Comics I Like - Part 3

Subnormality

Extremely wordy, highly cynical and the Sphinx disturbs me on a very deep level. So yeah, I love it.

Monty Python Gets It

Old and Busted: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

New Hotness: Give 'em a taste of that delicious fresh milk and they will buy the cow.

Monty Python's YouTube Channel

Do NOT click on this unless you have several days to waste

Zilch.

It's a dice game. Kind of like Cosmic Wimpout except without all the hippie crap. What is does have is awards. I have to win all the awards. I HAVE TO. Even the crappy ones, but I already have most of them. A warning though: Cautious cheats like a bitch. Two games in a row Caution ran up 6000+ point rolls to win. Bullshit, I say. BULLSHIT. That time I got an award for being beaten by over 1000 points to so it's all good.

Seriously don't click on this if you got stuff to do or you're totally fucked.

Billy Joel + FLCL

And why not?

HolyCrap

If, like me, heights make you a bit nervous, don't click on this. Ever.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Don Hertzfeldt - Rejected

I don't understand why these ads were rejected. I don't understand at all.



On a tangentially related note, one of the most frightening moments in my life was when I realized I had somehow ended up with Advertising as my major at the Henry W. Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communication. The phrase WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE was never more appropriate than at that very moment.

Some kind of special mustache?

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

This shit gets funnier every time I watch it.

Stinky Wizzleteats - Happy Happy Joy Joy

Eminem - Mosh

Red and Blue

Here's a timeline of the 1860-2008 Presidential Elections and Electoral maps. It's a neat way to kill a little time watching the country shift back and forth from red to blue.

If you want to kill a day instead of an hour, there are more electoral maps here, here, here, here and here.

Gringo Star - All Y'all

Finding gems like this is why I listen to Album 88. They're local too!




Arms Stretched Out is another pretty cool song by them, you can take a listen over at Creative Loafing's site.

Presidential Comics

This one is extremely educational in a bizarre sort of way.

This one just flat out kicks ass.

A Video Approximation Of The Last Two Months Of My Life

Another Nerdy Game

Can you name all the countries?

I got 102 before blanking out, which makes me just under a retard compared to all the other players. I was thrilled to just break 100, actually...

Lost Picture of Robert Johnson

Here's a pretty fascinating Vanity Fair article about a possible lost photo of blues god Robert Johnson. I bought the box set back in high school before I really knew what to make of that incredible guitar work.



The hassles with the copyright claim is just as interesting as story behind the photo in my opinion.

The Eyeballing Game

A pretty neat and fun math game.

My best is 3.38.

You ever have one of those days

where you wake up and The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald is playing in a continuous loop in your head?



With my luck it won't get out of my head until sundown.

The Vaselines - Son of a Gun

I love the Nirvana cover of this song, but the original is even better.



Just so you know, I scheduled this post yesterday morning just in case the world was going to blow up on the 7th. If it didn't, great. If it did, this is a nice song to go out on.

On October 7, 2008

The world will go completely to shit. Presumably to a creepy jazz soundtrack.



Or not. Who knows. I have now mocked the collapse of civilization either way so my bad karma's covered.

OH GOD IT'S TRUE

Rotten Butter

There are no words... just enjoy.



Ok, there are some words.

FUCK MARGARINE!!!!!!1

Ass Pennies

You gotta be kidding me.

The numismatist in me bleeds for the unbridled vortex of suck that is the 2009 Lincoln penny reverse. Dear Lord Jesus, let there be a good design for 2010..........

Radioactive Chicken Heads - Mongoloid

You know, if this was any other song - and I mean ANY other song - this video would be a WTF moment on the order of Pickle Surprise. But it actually works pretty well I must say. Much better than the shitty Sepultura version which is how I clicked thru and found this little gem.

This guy is absolutely correct

An excellent refutation of the commonly held misconception that Calvin & Hobbes is the best comic evar and Peanuts is unfunny suck.

1.) You have not read much in the way of Peanuts and are ignorant.
2.) There is something the fuck wrong with you.

Really, that's all that's needed but the guy provides examples too.

Comics I Like - Part 2

Overcompensating

I long time ago when I read webcomics voraciously there was one called Wigu that was ok, but I never got into it. Later on, I saw that the guy who draws Wigu had another one called Overcompensating but I ignored it because it was from the guy who draws Wigu. Then Reddit posted 8 billion Overcompensating comics and I read them when I should have been doing important things and I learned something:

THAT THE GUY WHO DRAWS WIGU IS A CYNICAL MOTHERFUCKER.

Now I really like Overcompensating and ignore Wigu. I will not read Wigu because I have vaguely neutral feelings toward it from when I read it years ago. I am a Wigu bigot.

Comics I Like - Part 1

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Think Gary Larson with a deep seated loathing for all humanity.

John McCain just lost.

Not even his fun game can save him now.

First rule of politics:

Never.

Ever.

Ever.

Stand up David Letterman.



The guy announced his freaking candidacy on Dave's show and he still decided to blow him off to do an interview with Katie Couric? It's mind boggling. The only electoral votes he can count on now are Alaska's and that's only because the moose will all be voting for Palin.

Ninja Cat

'nuff said

Fred Schnieder - Monster

Every time I watch this video, I expect Pee Wee and Miss Yvonne to show up and start dancing. Can you imagine if Conky spit out 'Monster' as the secret word? AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

RIP Don LaFontaine

You take movie trailers for granted and then one day their heart and soul is gone.

Gummi Bear Atrocity

A cute little gummi bear has a brand new adventur-OHDEARGODNO!!!

Science is EVIL!!!



His only crime was being born delicious.........

David Bromberg - Demon in Disguise

I never heard of this guy until I found a baseball card of someone with the same name, but this is really cool quirky blusey stuff.

More Michael Jackson sfuff

Some total randomness for a Monday. I don't know what the hell this is, but it's funny as shit. Shamon muthafucka! YEE HEE!

Miles Davis - Human Nature

Miles Davis + Michael Jackson = Pure Awesome



No, really. I'm not kidding this time.

That's Peanut Butter

While I am annoyed by the complete over saturation of the song Lust For Life, there is no denying that Iggy goddamn Pop is a fucking God.



Can you believe this shit is from 1970??

Ok, I Lied

I'll post a little more election stuff...

Daft Punk Charleston

I'm not talking about the election anymore. Ever since Paris Hilton positioned herself the most sensible candidate, there's really nothing I could say about it that's any sillier than reality.

Instead, let's see Al Minns & Leon James dancing the Charleston to Daft Punk's Around The World.

Really Good Filmmaking

I'm already pretty sick of the campaign commercials out there. "Blah blah blah, Hope and Change" "Blah Blah Blah, Too young and pretty" "Blah blah blah, I look good talking to World Leaders" "Blah blah blah, Obama and Britney, sitting in a tree..." Barf. They need to get some good filmmakers to work on their ads. Someone who knows about real quality. Like the guys who made these films:



Now that's quality!

Can You See The Light?

DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?



HAVE YOU SEEN THE LIGHT???



McCain not only has a cool game, but he's also nice enough to make campaign ads for Obama! He obviously feels bad about his earlier ad:

Everybody Likes Ike

Another video with animated boobs.

Tom Waits - For No One

More animated boobies here. I'm detecting a trend... Fuck it, it's Tom Waits in an amazing 'toon rotoscoped from a live performance. Tom Waits is an acquired taste, but this is vintage right here.

Geraldine

A pretty fantastic animated short from France about a dude who wakes up to find he's now a dudette. There's about a half-second of animated boobies in there so don't watch near anal-retentive people who can fire you or generally make your life miserable.

Dead Milkmen - Big Lizard in my Backyard

One of Dead Milkmens' finest songs animated brilliantly by Momo the Pirate. If I ever get my own Right-Wing AM talk show, I'm using the guitar solo as my theme song. Kind of like Rush and My City Was Gone by the Pretenders. We gotta blow up those things we don't understand...

Evolution

I miss 70's science programs. Carl Sagan always puts me in a good mood.



I do want to be fair however. There are of course legitimate alternate views.

Dinosaur Comics

Comics like this one are why this is one of my all time favorites ever.

They Mean To Win Wimbledon

In honor of the Wimbledon finals this past weekend (which was once again not won by a Scotsman) here's Monty Python's Science Fiction Sketch:







Angus Podgorney, what DO ye mean??

:(

John McCain hates me...



He seems to have a bit of self-loathing himself though. 'S ok John, I still like you and I'll continue to play your cool game.

MC Hawking - What We Need More Of Is Science

While I'm not quite crass enough to post this song by MC Hawking during this happy Holiday weekend, recent events have stirred memories of the good MC in my mind so here's another song by him in lieu of that completely tasteless one that you shouldn't click on at all.

Metropolis Director's Cut

According to Die Zeit a lost print of Fritz Lang's Metropolis was found in a museum in Argentina. And not just any version, the full version. Die Zeit has stills from the print. Not surprisingly film buffs are freaking out. You'd think after 80 years someone would have noticed it before now, especially with it hiding in a film museum. Maybe there's hope for finding a print of London After Midnight out there somewhere.

RIP Don S. Davis

So long stern but caring officer dude.



You know, that guy.



He was an artist too. Who will play our majors now?

Bloodhound Gang - Ralph Wiggum

Acoording to wikipedia, Bloodhound Gang has a new album coming out this year and as we all know, they never lie. That's right, I said album. I'm old and proud of it so get off my lawn. In honor of this momentous occasion here's my favorite song from their last CD album.



Well, actually this is my favorite song, but Ralph has the better video.

Pork Invaders

PIGS!!! PIGS IN THE SKY!!! THEY'RE COMING TO GET ME!!!!!



Oh yeah, I'm totally voting for McCain now.



You think I'm kidding..... I just saved 13.3 billion dollars thanks to John McCain!

(by the way, has anyone else noticed that the crumbling infrastructure never gets rebuilt or is it just me)

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits

And a GODDAMMIT for good measure.

This country is finished.



Watch these too. All of 'em. Goddammit.

Happy Firefox 3 Download Day

Go get 'em Tiger, but remember to keep some perspective.

Father's Day Trio

Father's Day cartoon.

Wisdom from Red Buttons:

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

And finally Father's Day at Superman's house.

Shatner Sings

Need I say more?

Ben Bernie- Sweet Georgia Brown

Anytime's a good time for Dixieland.

I've been waiting over three months to post this

When I die, and God asks me if I saw anything good down there, I can tell Him about this

Radiohead's Nude performed by a Sinclair ZX Spectrum, printer, scanner and hard drive array.

I think the word 'geekgasm' was specifically coined in anticipation of this video.

Cassini pictures

I heart Saturn. The photo of Janus occluding Titan with the rings in between them is wallpaper worthy.

Bo Diddley - Who Do You Love?

.

RIP Harvey Korman

I always loved to see Harvey lose it on the Carol Burnett show. This whole month has been a bummer. So long, Hedley.

Now go do that voodoo that you do so well!

Damn Damn DAMN

Why are all the cool people dying?

Robert Aspirin. Myth Adventures is one of the funniest series of books I have ever read.

Dick Martin. It looks corny today, but Laugh In was genius and Dick had the best comic timing around.

Sydney Pollack. Just flat out a damn good filmmaker.

John Philip Sousa

What better music for Memorial Day than the Liberty Bell March.

The Specials - Ghost Town

Here's a little Saturday Ska. This is perfect music for your next Halloween party.

Orbital - Halcyon

I'd never seen the video for this song before today.



Wow.

RIP Will Elder

Cartooning genius Will Elder passed away last Thursday from Parkinsons. Will was one of the original Mad Magazine usual gang of idiots, and was also known for his work in Humbug, Trump, Playboy and frequent collaborations with Harvey Kurtzman including Goodman Beaver. Will was known for insanely detailed drawings where every square centimeter was packed with as many jokes as could fit. These "chicken fat" jokes became a trademark style for the artist and added a touch of surreal zaniness to the already funny storylines he was illustrating. He helped define Mad Magazine's style in its early issues in such stories as the legendary Mole!. After leaving EC comics he collaborated with Kurtzman on several of his projects including Humbug and Help!. Help! spawned an Archie parody, Goodman Beaver, that caused a lot of legal trouble but a link to the original in .pdf format can be found here now that it's gone out of copyright. Goodman Beaver caught the eye of Hugh Hefner, which led to work on Trump and the classic Little Annie Fannie. Anyone lucky enough to stumble upon a Little Annie Fannie comic in a swiped Playboy when they were a kid knows that the boobies initially caught your attention, but the richly detailed stories and sight gags sometimes made you forget about the magazine's other pictorials. Three naughty Annie stories can be found here at the ASIFA Animation Archive. More and more of his work is being reproduced and collected as people realize how timeless much of it is. You can find some good stuff here or go directly to the source at Fantagraphics.

Will has always been a favorite of mine even before I knew who he was. I found some Mad Magazine specials at a flea market a long time ago which had reprints of the old comic books inserted in the magazine. The lunatic feel to these stories fascinated me since they were a lot different from the Mad I grew up with. The story Mole! especially captivated me with its combination of some of the darkest, blackest, bleakest humor with absolutely goofy artwork. Dig Dig Dig! If you can find any of these comic book reprints I strongly recommend them. One of the dumbest things I ever did was pass up on a remaindered autographed copy of Goodman Beaver at a bookstore in Athens back in my college days. Oh, to be young and stupid again instead of old and stupid. There used to be a great Little Annie Fannie archive site on the web somewhere, but the URL is stuck on one of my old hard drives and it's sadly lost in the ether now. The compilations are well worth it especially with some of the behind the scenes extras in them. Yeah they're smut, but they're damned funny smut which is the best kind. It bums me out that we lost another of the great cartoonists out there and it scares me that all the guys who built the foundations for today's humor in the original Mad Magazines are 70 and 80 years old now. At least the spirit is captured in that fantastic art.

Bollywood video

I've developed a fondness for Bollywood music videos (mainly because my favorite Indian restaurant plays them on a big screen) but I've never seen one with subtitles before. This one has fascinating lyrical imagery for what appears to be a pop song.



I could really go for a chicken tikka masala right now.

Sergio Mendes & Brasil 66 - Day Tripper

Ok, I've posted a lot of bizarre crap lately, here's a nice song played by nice people.



I could listen to this stuff all day...

i need help

I've watched this video two or three dozen times now and it just won't stop being funny.



What the hell is the matter with me

This is the funniest thing I've ever read

A story by “davesecretary“ who is a genius.

AWESOME

SO KEVIN, MYSELF, AND THIS FOREIGN DUDE “PEET” (NOT PETE, PEET) FROM FRANCE ARE PLANNING AN EXCURSION TO STEAL GOLF BALLS FROM THIS VERY EXCLUSIVE FRENCH GOLF COURSE.

PEET’S AT HIGH SCHOOL WITH US BECAUSE FRANCE AND QUEBEC DO EXCHANGES ALL THE TIME. HOW HE GOT WEDGED INTO OUR SCHOOL I’LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE PHILEMON WRIGHT IS PRETTY GHETTO AS FAR AS CANADIAN HIGHSCHOOLS GO.

SO ANYWAY WE WALK TO THE GOLFCOURSE AND SNEAK OVER THE GATE AND DISAPPEAR INTO THE WOODS. IT’S A BRIGHT FALL DAY AND WE’RE PRETTY MUCH HIDDEN IN THE TREES AND THERE ARE GOLF BALLS EVERYWHERE. WE’VE BROUGHT LARGE BLACK GARBAGE BAGS WITH US. WE’RE SLOWLY MAKING OUR WAY TO THE DRIVING RANGE WHICH IS WHERE THINGS GET TRICKY. YOU HAVE TO RUN OUT INTO SIGHT OF THE GOLFERS, SECURITY, ETC, AND SCOOP UP AS MANY GOLF BALLS INTO YOUR BAG AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. THIS CAN GET KIND OF DANGEROUS BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL THE GOLFERS TRY AND HIT YOU WITH BALLS FROM 300 YARDS, AND AS SOON AS YOU’RE SPOTTED BY SECURITY THEY START CHASING YOU DOWN AND YOU ONLY HAVE ABOUT A MINUTE BEFORE YOU NEED TO BAIL.

ONCE YOU’RE BACK IN THE WOODS SECURITY/RANDOM GOLFERS USUALLY STOP GIVING CHASE, AND YOU CAN CAREFULLY PICK YOUR WAY BACK TO THE GATES. THEN THE WHOLE PLAN IS TO TAKE YOUR SPOILS DOWN TO THE HIGHWAY AND START THROWING THEM AT CARS, BIKERS, PEOPLE, ETC. IT WAS A GOOD WAY TO PASS THE LUNCH-HOUR.

ANYWAY SO WE’RE IN THE WOODS HEADING TOWARDS THE DRIVING RANGE. ‘PEET’ IS ENTERTAINING US WITH HIS FRENCH ACCENT, TELLING US ABOUT THE TIME HE COULDN’T FIND HIS SHOES, WHEN WE HEAR A SWISHING NOISE AND A GOLF BALL HITS THE TREE RIGHT IN FRONT OF KEVIN. WE STOP DEAD IN OUR TRACKS. FRENCH GOLFERS ARE NASTY PEOPLE AND A GOLF BALL CAN GIVE YOU A GODDAMNED CONCUSSION IF YOU AREN’T CAREFUL.

WE PAUSE AND HOLD OUR BREATH. IT’S UNLIKELY WE’VE BEEN SPOTTED SO QUICKLY, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE WOODS ARE SO DENSE. WE LOOK UP - ABOUT A HUNDRED YARDS UP ON THE GREEN A GOLFER IS PEERING DOWN INTO THE WOODS WITH A GIANT FROWN. WE AREN’T SURE IF HE’S LOOKING AT US, OR IF HE CAN EVEN SEE US FOR THAT MATTER. MOST LIKELY HE JUST LOST HIS BALL AND IS SEEING IF THERE’S ANY HOPE OF RECOVERING IT. SOON THE GOLFER STEPS BACK OUT ONTO THE COURSE AND DISAPPEARS. PEET GIGGLES NERVOUSLY, GRABS THE GOLF BALL, THROWS IT INTO HIS SACK, AND WE MOVE ON.

ABOUT 4 MINUTES LATER ANOTHER GOLF BALL WHIZZES THROUGH THE AIR AND NEARLY BRAINS KEVIN. WE ALL PAUSE AGAIN AND QUICKLY LOOK UP. WE’RE A LOT CLOSER FROM THE GREEN THIS TIME AND IT’S THE SAME GODDAMNED GOLFER. WE’RE PRETTY SURE HE CAN SEE US, BUT NOT POSITIVE. HE’S DOING THE SAME THING - STARING DEEPLY INTO THE FOREST AND SCOWLING LIKE HE WAS JUST POKED IN THE BEHIND WITH A NEEDLE. WE DON’T MOVE UNTIL HE GIVES A LITTLE GRUNT OF DISSATISFACTION AND DISAPPEARS BACK ON THE GREEN. THIS IS GETTING WEIRD.

PEET PICKS UP THE BALL AND COMPARES IT TO THE ONE IN HIS BAG - IT’S THE SAME BRAND. THERE’S NO MISTAKE - THIS IS THE SAME GOLFER. “WHAT THE HELL IS HE PLAYING AT?” KEVIN HISSES AT ME. I SHRUG MY SHOULDERS.

“DEES IS DANGEROUS” PEET CLAIMS AND LOOKS AT US WISELY. WE ALL STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A SECOND AND CONTINUE.

THIS TIME BARELY 10 SECONDS PASS BEFORE ANOTHER GOLF BALL SAILS THROUGH THE AIR AND NEARLY STRIKES ME DEAD. WE STOP ABRUPTLY AND STARE UP. THE GOLFER IS LOOKING RIGHT AT THE SPOT WHERE WE’RE STANDING BUT I GET THE IMPRESSION HE STILL CAN’T SEE US. SUDDENLY IT DAWNS ON ME; HE CAN HEAR US WHEN WE’RE MOVING, BUT HE CAN’T SEE US WHEN WE’RE MOTIONLESS. I QUICKLY RELAY MY MESSAGE TO KEVIN AND PEET AND THEY AGREE.

WE CONTINUE CAREFULLY FROM THAT POINT ON. EVERY SO OFTEN A BALL COMES HURTLING IN OUR DIRECTION, SOMETIMES DANGEROUSLY CLOSE, SOMETIMES WAY OFF. EACH TIME IS FOLLOWED BY THE IRATE GOLFER STARING PASSIONATELY INTO THE FOREST.

THE TENSION IS DEFINITELY MOUNTING. I PERSONALLY AM STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A FOX IN A HUNT AND I CAN TELL KEVIN AND PEET AREN’T MUCH BETTER OFF. PEET IN PARTICULAR IS STARTING TO LOOK A LITTLE OFF-COLOR AND HAS TAKEN TO SILENTLY SHAKING HIS FIST AT THE GOLFER EACH TIME HE MAKES AN APPEARANCE.

THE GOLFER, TOO, I’VE NOTICED, IS DEFINITELY TAKING A GREATER ACCOUNT OF THE SOUNDS COMING OUT OF THE WOODS, BECAUSE HE’S LOOKING LONGER AND LONGER EACH TIME HE SENDS A GOLF BALL OUR WAY.

THE CLOUDS BREAK WHEN A GOLF BALL ACTUALLY HITS PEET IN THE LEG. UNABLE TO CONTROL HIS FRUSTRATION, PEET YELLS OUT ‘HEY, HEY YOU!!’ AT THE GOLFER. “WHAT ARE YOU DO-EENG, HUH? QUIT THAT, WHY DON’T CHU! ESTI!”

EVEN THOUGH THE GOLFER IS A WAYS OFF, I CAN SEE THAT PEET’S LITTLE CRY OF INDIGNATION HAS STARTLED THE MAN. HE’S SPEECHLESS FOR A SECOND, AND THEN, IN AN ACCENT JUST AS FRENCH AND AS THICK AS PEET’S, THE GOLFER MAKES HIS OWN VOICE HEARD: “OH YOU STUPEED KIDS! I KNEW, I KNEW DER WAS SOMEONE IN DER!! OH YOU STUPEED KIDS!”

THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR PEET. “NO, NO! YOU’RE STUPEED!! YOU’RE STUPEED!”

THE GOLFER IS GETTING REALLY WORKED UP NOW. HE’S GOT HIS CLUB RAISED HIGH THE AIR LIKE HE’S IN THE MIDDLE OF A VIGOROUS POLO GAME, AND PEET’S LITTLE RANDOM DENIGRATING CRIES ARE JUST EXCITING HIM FURTHER.

“YOU STUPEED KEEDS!! YOU TAKE ALL MY BALLS! I KNOW IT! YOU TAKE ALL MY BALLS.. YOU.. .YOU” THE GOLFER IS BREATHING HEAVILY, I CAN HERE IT FROM WHERE I’M STANDING. HE’S GOT SOMETHING ON HIS MIND AND IS EVIDENTLY PROCESSING THE BEST WAY TO SAY IT. KEVIN AND I HAVE BEEN SILENT THE ENTIRE TIME, WATCHING PEET AND THIS GOLFER BOIL UP INTO RESPECTIVE LITTLE BALLS OF RAGE. I CATCH KEVIN’S EYE FOR A SECOND AND HE GIVES ME A LITTLE GRIN. I’M RELATIVELY SURE HE’S THINKING THE EXACT THING I AM, WHICH IS THAT BOTH PARTIES ARE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER IN ENGLISH WHEN THEY’RE BOTH SO CLEARLY FRENCH. THAT OR THE FACT THAT WE MIGHT BE WITNESSING THE TWO ANGRIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.

“YOU KEEDS.. YOU STUPEED KEEDS.. YOU.. YOU..” CONTINUES THE GOLFER. HE FIGURES OUT WHAT HE’S DRIVING AT: “YOU PROFIT FROM MY SUCK!“.

KEVIN HAS TO LAUGH AT THIS AND I DON’T BLAME HIM. I’M HAVING A HARD TIME KEEPING IT IN MYSELF. I’M STILL STAGGERED THAT THIS MAN HAS BEEN ‘ACCIDENTLY’ HITTING SO MANY GOLF BALLS INTO THE WOODS. I’M JUST ASTONISHED THAT HE WASN’T 100% SURE WE WERE THERE.

BUT BEST OF ALL IS PEET’S REPONSE. HE’S JUST ENRAGED BEYOND MEASURE AT THIS POINT AND IS SHAKING BOTH FISTS IN THE AIR LIKE A SHAMAN. “I DON’T WANT YOUR SUCK!!!” HE SCREAMS OUT, BARELY AWARE OF WHAT HE’S SAYING, “I JUST WANT YOUR BALLS!! AND NOW I HAVE THEM!!“

WITH THAT PEET SLINGS HIS NEARLY-EMPTY GARBAGE OVER HIS SHOULDERS AND RUNS BACK INTO THE WOODS. KEVIN AND I FOLLOW HIM, NEARLY DOUBLED OVER WITH LAUGHTER, AND THE LAST THING WE HEAR IS THE GOLFER SCREAM (AND I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP) “YOU WON’T GEET AWAY WITH DEES!!!!”

If you liked that there's more where that came from here.

Three Comics That Made Me Laugh

Every Perry Bible Fellowship Ever. (or xkcd, if you prefer)

The First Woman President

Future Boxing

Milliways

Here's a rather fascinating account on how the sequel to the Hitchhiker's Guide video game from Infocom crashed and burned. With a (sort of) playable demo!

This the the best thing I've seen all day

Johnny Cash does Elvis.



A rebuttal.

Killer Asteroid!

Maybe I should go ahead and have the extra order of bacon. Rembember, those powers of 10 are important.
UPDATE: So it turned out to be false. I still want another excuse to eat more bacon.

I can has electronic music?

It's my damn blog, I can have cats playing theremins on it if I so choose. I like the utterly confused cat at the end.



The WTF look is also strong with this one.

(stolen from boingboing who swiped it from Laughing Squid)

The Daily Batman

This blog is very good, but today's is brilliant.

The Best Thing Ever

Go ahead and click, you know you want to.



P.S. Mets Suck

Mike O'Connell and Dr. Ken - What's It Gonna Be?

This is another of those songs I'm going to listen to for three days straight. While Mike and the good Doctor are insane enough on their own, the look on the boyfriend's face kills me.

How To Get Nerds To Eat Their Veggies

Fractal Broccoli

No foolin'...

Once you get used to it, insanity can be the most normal thing in the world.

Dig.

Racalmuto - Powerhouse

I've never heard of Racalmuto before, but damn they totally nail Raymond Scott.



Also:

The Penguin

Siberian Sleigh Ride

If you don't know who Raymond Scott is, just listen. You already know who he is whether you know you know or not.

0_0

Dear Lord, make it stop.....

Happy Birthday

I'm not going to say whose birthday it is, because then nefarious folks will use that information to commit horrible acts of identity theft which would be financially, legally, emotionally and sexually ruinous.

Why yes, I'm paranoid. Why do you ask?

Anyway, Happy Birthday to $FRIEND. Have a good one! BUT BE CAREFUL OUT THERE FOR BOB'S SAKE

Oh, and have a good friday. Ha! I kill me.

Arthur C. Clarke

In a silent farewell, he saluted the men he had known, whether they had hindered or helped him in his purpose. No one dared to disturb him or interrupt his thoughts: and presently he turned his back upon the dwindling Sun.

Everything else is bookkeeping

Goddamn I love xkcd.

Tournament Time

I friggin hate college Basketball, but I looooooooooooove this song. I also love the non-PC animation that would get several dozen people fired and/or jailed for hate crimes if it were created today. I remember seeing that cartoon when I was a kid and being absolutely fascinated by it. I'm not 100% sure but I think the same guy did some 'toons for Sesame Street too. For added pleasure, check out all the "ZOMG Cheech & Cohng r rasis!","no they aint, don't u watch Bugs Bunny?" YouTube comments.

Madness and Young Ones

Two great tastes that taste great together.

Look Around You

How the hell have I never seen this before????? This is like the greatest thing ever! For the first time I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND MATH! Take THAT Mr. Stinson!

Kraftwerk - Autobahn

Nifty weird 70's animation set to Kraftwerk's Autobahn. This kind of stuff makes me nostalgic for when times were simpler and cheesier. Warning - nekkid aliens, candles and unicyclists reside within.

o_O

Dear Jesus.

We got eight more months of this...

Hillary just can't catch a break

I'm so fucking sick of campaign season I could shit and all the useless crap being flung around is the main reason. Hillary's desperation is at the top of my annoyance chart at the moment. Run a good, clean campaign or STFU. No more histrionics. If she didn't already completely jump the shark by having the testicles to compare Barack Obama to Karl Rove, this might have done it. Supposedly leaked to Drudge by a Clinton staffer is a picture of Barack in traditional Kenyan tribal garb. I thought the whole thing sounded kind of silly since Obama's dad is from Kenya in the first place. There's a critical primary in a week, so of course both campaigns are sniping over it, with Hillary simultaneously claiming she didn't do it and criticizing the Obama camp for being ashamed of it and that it's not a big deal anyway just because a guy whose middle name is HUSSEIN is wearing a TURBAN. Obama certainly couldn't look as goofy as Kerry did in the space suit or trying to catch a football or, well, just being John Kerry so really what the hell is he worried about. Ugh, I'm just ready for the silliness to be over with. Let's get someone nominated already so the real dirty tricks can commence! Even so, curiosity got the better of me and I went to Drudge to check out the photo. Here it is:


This is the first thing that came to my mind:

TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!!!

Good job Hillary, the drunk fratboy demographic just shifted en masse to Obama's camp.

It's not gonna be an orgy... it's a presidential campaign!

O_o

Warren Ellis Comic

Posting the link here so I can read it later. Why don't you read it too?

Forty Dollars For A Goddamn T-Shirt?

Crappy t-shirts made famous by rock stars. How do you afford your Rock & Roll lifestyle? Ok, I can see it for this t-shirt. Lennon & Crumb synergy is worth 40 clams. What pisses me off is they have a whole mess o' Zappa tees and not one Pipco.

Politics is the Best Reality TV

So far, the networks in their infinite pursuit of viewership have failed to get me to watch Reality TV. I don't care about Big Brother. I think Survivor would be a lot more interesting if they dumped everyone in the jungle with a Leatherman, a roll of Duct Tape, and a cigarette lighter, and said "You eat what you kill, We won't be coming back to get you. And, by the way, between you and freedom is a tribe of xenophobic hunters that are deadly with a blowgun." That I'd watch, just for the Arnold Rimmer's of the show find a way to sell poison darts to the tribesmen.

That being said, this election has me completely enthralled. I find myself rooting for the underdogs (Obama and McCain, until Super Tuesday) booing the villains -take your pick between Hillary, Romney, Giuliani, and really, just about everyone who doesn't qualify as a nutjob, which leaves us with Ron Paul, the Eddie the Eagle of American Politics. I really can't get enough of it.

Which brings me to my point, which for reasons of something passing for literary standards I refuse to call "A Modest Proposal." The 2012 campaign should be run as a reality TV show. We'd start out sometime in 2011 with the "Man in the Street" section, where a bunch of yokels whose previous experience involves describing how the tornado sounded just like a freight train describe how they would solve world problems. Think Miss Teen South Carolina without the ballgowns or, in fact, the intelligence. We'd then, from that group of hopefuls, pick a handful to go on and meet the candidates who are entering the race the normal way (graft, corruption, blind idealism, and downright hubris). Instead of doing something constructive, they would do something silly like try to sell lemonade in the middle of a Minnesota winter or some other such silly task designed to make the "real" candidates look stupid and the anonymous everymen look brilliant.

Eventually that would run it's course, and we'd have to get down to real voting. I think the logical solution is to have a call-in number on the last debate before the start of the primary season. You would have to call 1-900- something or another to keep your candidate alive for the primaries, which would start with New Hampshire and Iowa, and then be 6 states a week for the next two months. In the end, the Republican and Democratic Parties would install the nominee they were already going to nominate anyway. Do not pass go, Do not get any sense of participation in the electoral process.

The Bastard Fairies - We're All Going To Hell

I found this video in a thread about the classic School Scare film, One Got Fat. The song is amazing and the horrific deaths of Biking Monkey-Children only add to the genius.

Doin' My Dooty

Wooooo! I am a good citizen, hooray for me!

Name your poison

The polls open here in Georgia in 7 hours. In less than 24, we will have a much clearer idea who will be running for President come Fall. I wish I could say I am thrilled about it, but the current crop of candidates leaves a lot to be desired:

Mitt Romney:Scares the crap out of me. Has The John Kerry hair, and reminds me of the guy who sold me my last car. The guy is almost as slippery as his Grecian-formula slicked-up hair. Interesting point, though. He was one of the few republican candidates to have been married only once.

John McCain: He may still get my vote, but I have a feeling he's the GOP's Howard Dean. He gets a ringing endorsement from Ann Coulter. Anyone who makes her that mad has got to be doing something right. I just hope he doesn't have flashbacks to 'Nam and nuke the hell out of anybody. It would be a decisive foreign policy, however. My bet is Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack in December if McCain wins.

Barack Obama: Everybody knows that he's been campaigning since the Democratic convention in 2004. Admittedly, following in the footsteps of Kerry isn't exactly a hard act to follow. It's a lot like being the largest city in Delaware. Or the smartest man in the Oval Office.

Hillary Clinton: I'm not sure I can face another 4-8 years of the Clintons. I could handle it as a reality show, but not as the Commander and Chief and her Boy Pander. After Florida, she seems like a Machiavellian, scheming witch who would do anything to get the House. And somehow. "Clinton" and "Restoring dignity to the White House" are just two words I can't get in the same sentence. Having Hillary in the White House would be worth it for two reasons:
1)First Hubby Bill Clinton
2)Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulter going insane.

so there you have it, folks. The current crop of candidates. With any luck, we'll end up with McCain v. Obama. I just got to hope I'm wrong on that whole flashback thing.

This is why the internet was invented

To show the similarities between South Park's Cripple Fight and the fight from They Live.

Kraftwerk - Die Roboter

Why downloading is evil: somewhere a while back I found an mp3 of this some mashed up with Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". Whitney Houston should never ever sound good.

I forgot

never forget.

Free stuff to read

Found these at BoingBoing.

Issue #21 of Saga of the Swamp Thing in .pdf format courtesy Vertigo comix.

If comic books ain't your thing, here's a book by Robert Shea, Shike.

State of the Union Drinking Game

Step one: acquire five gallons of moonshine *

Step two: turn off the TV, radio, internet, anything that could possibly cause you to hear that drooling idiot babble on about crap tonight **

Step three: Drink all the moonshine as quickly as possible

Step four: embrace the sweet bliss of the grave as your internal organs shut down

Final step: expire in happiness with the knowledge that you don't have to hear anymore of this political horseshit ever again

* do not actually do any of these things.

** actually, this one's ok, just don't do the other ones.

The Ramones - Pinhead

GabbaGabbaWeAcceptYouWeAcceptYouOneOfUsOneOfUs

This is terrible

but it makes me laugh.

This is Madness

I don't know who did this, or why they did this but it's funny as shit. There's only been about 7.5 million views of this thing before I stumbled upon it, so I'm really at the cutting edge here.

Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the 80's

The song is addictive enough, but the video is so freaking weird that I couldn't resist posting it. For added fun, play his song Vegas at the same time.



Disco Heat and Neon Rocks are much better songs though.

Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock

Happy Birthday to the King!

Important stuff

This site is the only one you need until November something or other. Really, it's a damn good site.

www.electoral-vote.com

Go ahead, click it. It's good stuff.

MC Chris - White Kids Love Hip Hop

As Master Shake would say, MC Chris is the shizznite. If the video doesn't melt your mind, the YouTube comments certainly will.

What the hell is happening to the comic pages

This will probably be explained here, but I just couldn't let this Garfield panel from 1/06/08 pass.


Is Garfield really kissing Jon's ass???

Kids With Codenames - Little Brown Betty

This is in heavy rotation at Album 88 and it has lodged itself in my brain. You can hear a non-live version at their Myspace page. Point Eleven is even better than this, but some chick is screaming her head off on the live performance.

Jurassic 5 - What's Golden

I heard a snippet of this song on Album 88's Hush Hush and had to hear the whole thing. It's always good to hear the verbal Herman Munster, the word enhancer.

Spike Jones - Clink, Clink, Another Drink

The holiday season has driven me to the bottle... I need a vacation from all this vacation.

Camper Van Beethoven - Ambiguity Song

Happy New Year. I can't think of a better song to celebrate this coming year than this one.



If the coming year is merely half as awesome as this song, we've all got nothing to worry about.